There’s a problem with keeping Tweens in our churches.  Tweens are preteens aged around 9 to 12.  They’re no longer children but not yet teenagers.  They are between.  The term ‘Tweens’ is largely a commercial marketing tool so we’ll call them pre-teens from now on.  As many as 50% of pre-teens raised in Church are dropping out as they move from primary school to high school.  Dr Pastor David Goodwin, International Director of Kidsreach, believes that churches are losing more people at this time than at any other stage in the lifespan.  And that many pre-teens, who do stay in church during their high school years, appear to be merely postponing their final departure.  They are staying because their parents insist on them attending church, or because their social life is linked to the church youth group.  Increased independence, establishing unique interests of their own and the importance of friends are hallmarks of a pre-teen’s life. 

Pre-Teen Shift

Pre-teens experience huge changes in physical, cognitive, emotional and social development.  Girls are heading into puberty earlier with boys only a little behind them.  A big shift is in their cognitive development.  They are entering a meta-cognitive state where they are starting to develop the ability to be aware of their own thoughts as well as the thoughts of others.  Comparison begins.  Wanting to fit in and not wanting to be left out.  Acceptance becomes an important issue.  But this cognitive development also means they can anticipate the consequences of their actions, make informed decisions and develop opinions.  Pre-teens have a growing ability to understand things from another point of view which leads to empathy. 

Pre-Teens and Kid’s Church

Some Pre-teens are happy to stay in Kid’s Church where they feel comfortable.  Others are promoted to positions of Junior Leaders.  Dr Pastor David Goodwin’s research found that Children’s ministry is done randomly in most churches, with not a lot of thought given to the long-term future of the children. 

How Can Big Church Help?

Dr Pastor David Goodwin cites seven recommendations for churches that could help them focus on solutions to pre-teens never attending an adult service.

1. Ministry to children needs to be given greater priority.
2. Children need to be embraced by the adult members of the church and be given meaningful involvement in church services.
3. Churches need a viable youth group where children are encouraged to attend.
4. Faith development needs to be a strong focus on how and what children are taught.
5. Children need to be better prepared for challenges to their faith that will inevitably come.
6. Children benefit from Christian activities in addition to church services.
7. Churches need to strategize to make the move from Kid’s Church to Big Church an easy one.

Pre-teens need us more than ever.  They need our empathy and understanding, and yet still need healthy boundaries.  We need them to make it from Kid’s Church to adult church.  They need to make it.  I hope this information challenges you to take a fresh look at Pre-teens and how you minister to them.  It certainly challenged me.