Awfulising (a word coined by psychologist Albert Ellis) is that sneaky habit of turning small problems into giant disasters. The milk spills — “This whole morning is ruined!” The printer jams — “Everything always goes wrong!” A volunteer forgets they’re rostered on — “Why don’t people care enough about Children’s Ministry?!”

We’ve all done it. But children are watching us closely, and when we awfulise, they learn to do the same. The good news is that we can model something far healthier: calm thinking, realistic responses, and a sense of safety even when things go wrong.

What Is Awfulising?

Awfulising is when the brain jumps from a small inconvenience to a full-blown catastrophe. It sounds like:

• “This is the worst thing ever.”
• “I can’t handle this.”
• “Everything is falling apart.”
• “Nothing ever works.”

It’s emotional exaggeration — and it spreads quickly. Children absorb it like a sponge.

Why It Matters for Kids

Children learn how to interpret the world by watching the adults around them. When we awfulise:

• Kids think small problems are big problems
• They become anxious about normal mistakes
• They fear getting things wrong
• They feel unsafe when adults seem overwhelmed
• They copy our catastrophising language in their own challenges

But when we stay steady, even in chaos, children learn resilience. They learn that problems can be solved, feelings can be managed, and God is with us in the middle of the mess.

What Awfulising Looks Like in Children’s Ministry

You’ve seen it:

• A craft goes wrong and a child cries, “It’s ruined!”
• A game doesn’t go their way and suddenly “It’s not fair!” or “Everyone hates me!”
• A friend sits with someone else and “Nobody likes me anymore!”

Children don’t yet have the emotional brakes we do. They need adults who model calm, realistic thinking — not adults who escalate the drama.

How to Stop Awfulising (and Teach Kids to Do the Same)

1. Catch Your Own Catastrophe Words

Listen for phrases like:

• “Always”
• “Never”
• “Worst”
• “Disaster”
• “Everything is ruined”

Swap them for calmer, truer statements:

• “This is annoying, but we can fix it.”
• “That didn’t go to plan, but we’ll try again.”
• “It’s okay — mistakes happen.”

Children learn emotional regulation by hearing it.

2. Narrate Calm Problem-Solving

Let kids hear your steady voice in action:

• “The glue spilled. No big deal — I’ll grab a cloth.”
• “We’re missing a prop. Let’s improvise.”
• “The video won’t play. We’ll switch to Plan B.”

This teaches them that problems are normal, not catastrophic.

3. Help Kids Shrink the Problem

When a child is spiralling, guide them gently:

• “Is this a big problem or a small problem?”
• “What’s one thing we can do right now?”
• “Let’s take a breath and look again.”

You’re not dismissing their feelings — you’re helping them regain perspective.

4. Model Emotional Honesty Without Drama

Kids don’t need perfect adults. They need regulated adults.

Try:

• “I’m feeling frustrated, but I can handle it.”
• “This didn’t go how I hoped, but we’ll figure it out.”

Avoid:

• “This is a nightmare!”
• “I can’t deal with this!”

Your calm becomes their calm.

5. Celebrate Recovery, Not Perfection

When a child handles a disappointment well, highlight it:

• “You were upset, but you took a breath and tried again.”
• “You solved that problem — great thinking!”

This builds resilience far more than praising flawless behaviour.

6. Bring God Into the Moment

Children need spiritual anchors for emotional storms.

Simple truths help:

• “God is with us even when things go wrong.”
• “We can pray for calm and wisdom.”
• “God helps us try again.”

You’re teaching them that faith isn’t just for Sunday.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

Children today face pressures we never imagined — academic stress, social media comparison, friendship drama, and constant noise. When adults awfulise, it amplifies their anxiety. When adults stay steady, it gives them a safe emotional home base.

Your calm presence is a ministry in itself.

Final Encouragement

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be aware.

Every time you choose calm over catastrophe, you’re teaching children:

• God is with us in the mess
• Problems can be solved
• Feelings can be managed
• Mistakes aren’t the end
• They are safe

That’s powerful discipleship.

10 ‘God’s Got You’ Lessons to Teach!

There’s no need to worry or panic about your next Children’s Church lesson!  There are hundreds of free lessons to download here at Cooee Kid’s Ministry.

Bodyguard:  David at Keilah https://cooeekidsministry.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/Bodyguard-David-at-Keilah.pdf

Be a Salmon:  The Persistent Widow https://cooeekidsministry.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Be-a-Salmon.pdf

Captain of Our Salvation:  Jesus Calms the Storm https://cooeekidsministry.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Captain-of-Our-Salvation.pdf

Hold Your Horses: Gideon https://cooeekidsministry.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Hold-Your-Horses-Gideon-Trusts-God.pdf

God is Bigger Than Your Mistakes:  The Story of Samson https://cooeekidsministry.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/God-is-Bigger-than-Your-Mistakes.pdf

Hold on Tight to God:  King Hezekiah https://cooeekidsministry.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Hold-on-Tight-to-God.pdf

My God is So Big (Pre-schoolers): Psalm 19 https://cooeekidsministry.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/My-God-is-So-Big.pdf

Jesus Our Compassionate Saviour:  Jesus Shows and Teaches Compassion https://cooeekidsministry.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Jesus-is-Our-Compassionate-Saviour.pdf

Keep Moving Forward:  Spies Sent into Canaan and Israel Refuses to Enter https://cooeekidsministry.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Keep-Moving-Forward.pdf

No Room for Doubt:  Jairus’ Daughter https://cooeekidsministry.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/No-Room-for-Doubt.pdf